Part Thirty-Eight

(CONCLUDED FROM PREVIOUS EPISODE)

Upon hearing Deidre's question, Peggy recalled an evening she had spent at Raoul's house on Bainbridge Island. She had been invited to have dinner, and when she arrived the house was prepared as though for a party.

"Who else is coming?" Peggy asked.

"What do you mean?" said Raoul, looking puzzled.

"Is it just us?"

"Of course. But if you get tired of talking you are free to say nothing, and if you get tired of listening to me you are free to tell me to stop talking."

Peggy laughed. It wasn't what she had meant. She had noted the clean house, the fresh flowers placed in the foyer and on the dining room table, music on the stereo, a bottle of chilled white wine open and ready to pour. She thought he had planned a dinner party. But she was surprised to realize that he had done all of that for her. He was entertaining her, and she felt flattered. She was suddenly glad she had worn an attractive outfit and a touch of makeup. He poured wine and remarked that she had arranged her hair a little bit differently, which she had done, and he said it looked very nice. There were other situations as well in which Raoul had gone to some effort to create a comfortable setting.

All of this Peggy recalled in a flash, the sensation of that evening, in particular, and the way it made her feel.

"You know," she said to Deidre while Raoul was still preoccupied with checking into the bed-and-breakfast, "there are times when he makes me feel young and sexy. Yes, that's the word: sexy. I'm sure it doesn't sound very noble and intellectually satisfying, but I'm not in my twenties like you and I no longer have your wonderful young skin and your figure, in fact I never had your figure, and so I don't mind being wined and dined and made to feel beautiful by a handsome man who is interesting to talk to and is every inch a gentleman, even though we do have, frankly, serious differences of opinion on things…please stop me if I've answered your question."

Deidre sat wide-eyed. "I'm so jealous. The guys I date are such immature losers. I want a gentleman. I think my father is the last one."

"No, he's not the last one. The men your age will become gentlemen, eventually."

"But I don't want to wait until I'm forty!"

Raoul returned just as Peggy laughed. "What did I miss?" he said.

"Just a sad observation on the state of male-female relationships," said Peggy.

"You came out slightly ahead of the pack," said Deidre.

"What a relief."

Their evening consisted of a piano recital at the Ethical Society, dinner at the Striped Bass on Walnut Street, followed by drinks and music at a jazz club. Dirksy joined them for the evening, at Raoul's invitation. The two young women entertained Peggy and Raoul with funny stories of academic life.

"What's most intriguing are the rivalries between professors," said Deidre. "In some cases you have tenured professors in the same department not even speaking to each other. It's like a sorority house."

"Some students shamefully exploit that," said Dirksy. "But not us."

"We're above all that," said Deidre with a wink.

"Hmm," said Raoul. "I think you'll be well prepared for corporate America."

Later, when they were at the jazz club, Dirksy said, "I understand you guys are going to Brooklyn next."

"My son lives there," said Peggy. Raoul had gotten up from the table and was talking to a musician while the band was on a break.

"Is your son a student?" asked Deidre.

"He studies art at the Pratt Institute, and waits on tables at night."

"Sounds like a hard worker," said Deidre.

Peggy had once wondered how she might introduce Deidre to her son, Taylor, Jr. But now she didn't see them together: she saw Deidre going off to the corporate world with her new M.B.A. to make money, while her son would forever struggle to make ends meet as an artist.

Peggy said, "Yes, he works hard but the problem is that anyone serious about art has to make some very hard choices. It's not easy. I think he's wrestling with some tough decisions."

Then Deidre said, "I've been thinking about something you said earlier, about how you and my father have differences of opinion. How do you adjust to that?"

At that moment Peggy realized that the subject of her and Raoul probably did not leave Deidre's mind for very long. She chose her words carefully.

"If I were simply joking around I would say that we are getting over our differences because your father is leaning toward my way of thinking."

"But it's not that simple," said Deidre. Dirksy remained silent, but listened intently.

"Correct. You can never count on people changing to suit your needs. Look, I think it boils down to chemistry. There's either some kind of basic attraction, or there isn't. You can't analyze it, or weigh the pros and cons in some scientific way."

"I think you're trying to say that you can't apply a decision process," said Deidre. "The economists in my department are forever trying to quantify everything so they can arrive at optimal solutions."

"This isn't that kind of problem. You have to feel your way through it."

Dirksy finally spoke up. "It sounds like you've given this a lot of thought."

"The truth is, I don't know what the hell I'm doing," said Peggy. "Right now we're supposed to be on vacation and I suppose I'm trying to make it work one day at a time."

She turned to Deidre. "I hope you will at least give me a chance. I would never take advantage of your father. If we reach a point where I believe we could never be happy together, then I will break it off."

Deidre gave Peggy a warm hug. "That's extremely reasonable," said Deidre. "I'm sorry for being such a bitch." Dirksy wiped a tear from her eye.

The music started playing again. Raoul returned to the table in high spirits. "These guys are pretty sharp. Hello. Is everybody having fun? It looks like a funeral around here."

Peggy looked at Deidre and Dirksy and they all had a good laugh.